So to keep my marriage I left everything I know including my children and moved to the UK. I have been here almost 6 years now. Over the last 4 or so years he's been accusing me of cheating on him. I don't drive here. I get a lift from a girlfriend to work and he picks me up. During the week things seem ok between us. But for the past year now he's been starting fights almost every weekend and then leaving me in the house and takes off. He stays gone some times 4 or 5 hours.
He use to tell me he'd been over his mom's. But in February she passed away. Now he says he went and set down in the car at the beach. Or he went for a walk to calm his heart rate. He had a heart attack 3 and a half years ago. He smokes about 2 packs a day. He smokes pot often. And drinks at least 3 days a week. I'm paying for everything and he don't work. Yet he says I'm cheating on him. Says he wants a divorce all the time. Especially when he's been drinking.
But when he sobers up he says he dont want a divorce. That he loves me and never wants to lose me. When payday rolls around he's loving and caring. But once the money is gone he's back to calling me names and accusing me of cheating.
I don't know what to do anymore. He even tells his friends and neighbor's I'm cheating on him. How do I find out if he's got someone else?? Literally every reason you've stated there shows that you need to leave that guy.
I wouldn't even worry about whether he is cheating. Just move on. Sandy, you cheated on your prior husband. I can totally understand why he thinks you may be cheating.
Look in the mirror! I've been married for almost 40 yrs, I had an affair 20 yrs ago, he said he for gave me but every time i turn arround I'm being accused and called a lier. I am just heartbroken my husband of almost 25years out of the blue suddenly started accusing me of cheating on him with my female co-worker it was literally like an interrogation he was telling me not to blink drink water when he was accusing me I was in shock he asked for my phone I had nothing to hide he said there was blocked numbers on it from a year or two previous , which were people trying to find his sister because she owed them money.
I was so stressed out he would say who are you working with today I asked him did he want my schedule but he just liked to interrogate me. My male boss called to see how I was doing and then my husband started on him it was so hurtful , he confronted my boss outside of work in front of my friends it was humiliating. He then started saying that I was just meeting complete strangers if I took too long at the store and that I had to call him when u left and when I got back.
He then started saying that guys were coming to our house it was disgusting. I was sleeping with the neighbours he would come home from work and just say just tell me your cheating and everything will be ok but I was just getting more and more scared of him.
Jeanette, I'm sorry you went through that. I'm going through the same with my wife. I never cheated but if I look at my phone, i'm texting a girl.
If I walk the dog for a slightly longer walk, I'm doing it to talk to a girl on the phone. I leave my phone at home when I walk the dog many times, to prove I'm not talking to anyone. I have been accused of talking to someone or being with someone if I'm late coming home by 20 minutes.
There is traffic I can't control. I looked at my phone the other night to check work email and the next day asked what girl I was talking to. There are worse things she said about me I will not type here.
I keep trying to talk to her but she yells and falsely accuses me of crazy things I would never even think of doing. We have kids. She has always been jealous but is getting much worse. I can't do anything without being questioned. I can't prove I'm not doing anything. She puts me to the ground all the time.
I try to talk calmly but it's hard when I'm always being accused. She treats other people well, especially her friends. I am paying all the bills and doing the best I can and I get treated like garbage. She says she will never trust me. Hi there So I recently got married to my best friend who I've been dating for a long time. My hubby confronted me asking, if i left to go somewhere after he left at 7am to go work. I told my hubby that's impossible because I was in communication with him the entire time and we were on video calls.
But my hubby refused to believe me and it's now Wednesday, he still believes his friend over me and gives me an attitude I don't know what to do. My hubby is even ignoring me and it hurts so much because, he is all that I have.
Your email address will not be published. HerNorm is a community-supported website. We may earn a small commission on purchases made through our links. Learn more. Contents 0. Related Content. Sonya Schwartz. A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married.
You can read more about me here Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. You May Also Like. No Comments. Also, refrain from demanding an apology from your spouse during the conversation.
It might make your spouse defensive and less willing to discuss the thinking behind the accusations. Get a free weekly relationship tip from Mike Tucker for a healthier and happier marriage! Sign up here! We respect your email privacy. Mad About Marriage will use the information you provide on this form to be in touch with you and to provide updates and marketing.
You can change your mind at any time by clicking the unsubscribe link in the footer of any email you receive from us, or by contacting us at info faithfortoday. We will treat your information with respect. Also, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, communicate effectively. Maintaining a relationship is hard work, and it requires compromise from both parties to work out. Therefore, this means that you will have to do certain things for him and vice versa.
This is especially with love languages. Of the five known languages , time spent is one of the most common ones for people. This is because a couple should spend time together.
Furthermore, he will feel even more alienated if he tries to set aside time for both of you and you stand him up or refuse to hang out with him. This could easily lead to suspicions of cheating. Sex is an important part of any marriage as it is the most vulnerable moment between the couple.
Therefore, the lack of sex has led to breakups and has been cited as a reason for infidelity. With that said, how your sex life? Was it always good? These are some of the questions you need to ask if you have been accused of cheating. Hence, if your sex life has dropped, examine the reason it happened and address it as soon as possible.
Also, carry your husband along for the journey as they will settle whatever nerves he has about you cheating on him.
But why would he do something like that? There is more than a single reason that needs to be highlighted, but a very interesting one is when he does it to push you away.
This could be because he wants to leave the relationship, or sabotage it somehow. Also, it could be a symptom of self-esteem or abandonment issues. If your husband is pushing you away, it is crucial to find out why? However, it could stem from guilt or self-sabotage, which could be trickier to deal with.
That said, your mode of communication is important, and it could help diffuse the situation once done right. Is it possible for exes to remain friends? Could it cause problems in a new relationship? So, if you have been accused of cheating, it could be because of the proximity of a former lover in your marriage.
Therefore, it is important to find out if your husband is cool with your relationship with your ex. But, it is an important concept that not enough people seem to grasp. Communication is a pillar of any marriage, and its absence can ruin it. So, are you communicating enough? Are you listening to him? If the answer is no, then you need to fix that. Secrets can ruin a marriage and have, in many cases, do just that. However, the problem is the distinction between secrecy and privacy.
While one involves withholding information because of how it might make the other person feel, the other is a healthy boundary within which you have every right to keep information hidden. For example, if a friend reveals a secret in a phone chat, you might withhold this from your husband. So, it follows that you would wonder how to defend yourself in these situations. The best course of action is to self examine , listen to the underlying fears of your partner, and never lose sight of yourself.
If someone is cheating in a relationship, there is usually a shift in their behavior. This could manifest in different ways, including reduction of sex, coldness, distance, and so on.
There are various reasons for this, but the most common thread is that there is a breakdown in the connection between the two parties. This could come in the form of time apart, lack of respect, or something else. Whatever the case may be, cheating usually points at some damage in the marriage. I hope you found this list helpful. My husband has choosing porn or online dating sites over being intimate with me. He is acting cold hearted and very mean with attitude.
My husband use to be OCD really bad , now he act like he doesn't care anymore. Is there anything I can do? Your email address will not be published.
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